Tag Archives: stress

Thrive on Your Lifestyle

Somehow, somewhere along the way, we as a society seem to have come to the belief that every person perceives every experience in the same way. The fact of individual experience, individual knowledge, individual background, individual resilience… these things all seem to be dismissed in favor of the belief that if X happens to little Johnny and it’s hurtful to him, then if X happens to little Mark it must also be hurtful to him. As adults we see people assuming that if X happens to someone and causes them stress, then it must cause stress to everyone who experiences it. Continue reading

Circles and Lines

Is life a circle? Or is it a line? Does it matter? Why even think about it? Just recently I ran across some memes that had me wondering about the mindset they presuppose and the overall tone, be it positive, negative or somewhat neutral. They started me thinking about Body’s Cycle – the humane decision making cycle taught to many (if not all) combatants. The cycle is a four step repeating process wherein your observe your surroundings, orient yourself to the situation, make a decision and then act upon that decision. Your action causes a change so you have to start over with observing the change and so on. These cycles are often referred to as “OODA Loops” (said “u-dah loop”). They are circular and repeating. They are also usually applied only to compressed time frames such as competitions and conflict where your actions have to happen fast… fast enough to get ahead of your opponent’s OODA Loops and emerge victories.  Can the same thing be said on a grander scale about life? Continue reading

Defining & Recognizing Strength

When we hear someone say, “He’s a strong person,” or “She has great inner strength,” it can mean different things to each of us. The word “strong” has a wide variety of definitions available for it, but the one(s) I want to concentrate on here are those relating to strength of character; strength of spirit. Hands down the largest message I want to impart in this piece is that just because someone appears to be strong… behaves in a manner that expresses a greater inner strength… is constantly helping others, DOES NOT mean that they aren’t fighting their own battles. Continue reading

Solve Problems Like You’re Dancing In The Rain

My family once owned a dog that we named ThunderStorm and just called Storm. He was a chocolate Labrador from a big family and, full grown, weighed about 100 pounds. The odd thing we discovered about him, from the earliest days we had him as a puppy, was that he loved to go out and play in the rain.  I don’t mean those occasionally warm spring and summer showers… I mean thunder and lightning downpours that created puddles in minutes.  He delighted in going out to play in those puddles. He’d splash and frolic and bury his face in them, shake off and do it again. We hated thunderstorms. They meant someone was going to have to put on a rain coat, hat and boots to leash the dog and take him out. Continue reading

Life’s Most Necessary Skill

Yes, I admit to “baiting” with the title. I was hoping it would make people wonder, “What might that be?” or “What does this guy Borelli think it is?”  My answer: Overcoming adversity. Out of the thousands of skills we need to learn (and hopefully master) throughout our lives, the ability to successfully cope with and overcome adversity is the single most important skill we can master.  I KNOW there are plenty of people thinking, “But what about…?” and putting in a different life’s skill.  I won’t argue you with you because there may be other life skills that you as an individual feel are more important.  To me – because of the quirks of my personality, knowledge and life’s experience – overcoming adversity is the single most important life skill a person needs to master. Using some contemporary events, let me expound a little bit on why. Continue reading

The Difference Between Stopping & Pausing

I have been actively writing short stories since I was in the 7th grade.  I learned to type in the 9th grade and, thanks to lots of years of playing the piano before that, I could type FAST (still can).  I have the benefit of a good private high school education plus some.  What it took me most of my adult life to learn was the value of NOT immediately saying or typing about something that made me angry.  Venting while angry – whether you do it verbally (bad) or in writing (worse) – is NOT a good thing.  When you find yourself preparing to do that, THEN is when you need to practice the pause. Continue reading

Worrying Is Actually A Bad Thing

Most of my friends and family have heard me quote the Serenity prayer or some version of it (because I can never remember it exactly right) repeatedly through the past couple of decades (quoted below).  One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Baz Luhrmann’s song Everybody’s Free. “Don’t worry about the future. Or know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.” Why do I point these two items out? Because so many people believe that worrying, while not helpful, isn’t harmful.  They couldn’t be more wrong. Continue reading

Who Is To Blame? YOU – And It’s Great!

I know a woman who, at the grand old age of about eight years old, was taught that someone else was to blame.  Blame for what?  Everything. That summer she lived with some relatives and in a very short time span she gained a lot of weight. She had lived the lifestyle of those particular relatives: she ate anything she wanted, did next to no physical activity, watched a LOT of television and gained weight.  She gained about ten pounds in two weeks.  For an eight year old sized person, that’s a lot of weight. When she got home to her family complaining about how fat she was, her mother insisted it wasn’t her fault; it was the fault of the relatives who let her do that. Continue reading

Ignore The Distractions

If you look back at the first two posts in the motivational category (where you’re reading this too), you’ll see the first two: Just Don’t Quit and You Don’t Have To Like It (You just have to do it).  This one?  Ignore the distractions; focus on the goal! One of the most respected military units in the WORLD today is the Navy SEALs.  They are considered the elite of the elite.  They are smart, fit, imaginative and simply don’t know how to quit.  Do you know what one of their secrets is?  Ignoring distractions.  What distractions you ask?  Things like fatigue, hunger, pain, home sickness, etc.  One of the reasons they are so successful in their missions is because they stay focused on the mission until it’s complete. Continue reading