A few years back, I worked for a man who owned several businesses.  He was a big guy – well over six feet tall and three hundred pounds; strong and with a life’s history that demonstrated just how determined he was. Due to his size, and a prior criminal history, many people feared him and his temper – that most people never saw. Even when he did get angry, in my experience, his face turned red and his voice got more controlled. I never saw him raise a hand to anyone (except when he was bouncing at the bar he owned, and even then it was more raising them than his hand).

As happens all too often in my household, my son asked me a question that forced me to carefully think through my beliefs and values before offering an answer. I have to think carefully because I know, for sure and certain, he’s already trying to form that next question so if I’m not as specific and exacting as I can be, I give him huge maneuvering room to ask the more difficult questions. This week’s question really wasn’t so hard: “Dad, what makes an American an American?” The first and most obvious answer was, “Where he was born,” but that’s not what he was asking. He was looking for me to explain to him what values I felt that he, when he became an adult American, should have as part of his character. Long time readers know that such a conversation can’t be had without me sharing it, so here we go with an explanation of my answer. (more…)