As so often happens, something came up in one of my social feeds that gave me pause to think. It was a picture of a tree growing up through a boulder, literally having split the boulder in two as it grew. The caption said, “Plant the seed.” It seemed a simple concept and we’ve all seen trees growing in the unlikeliest of places – out of what looks like solid rock sometimes. All you have to do is plant a seed and a tree will grow, right? Hmmm… wrong.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve planted seeds and the plants never grew, or they sprouted and then promptly withered and died. Obviously, just planting a seed isn’t the answer to growing a tree that is strong enough, over time, to penetrate or break rock. We might think that it all starts with the seed, but in reality, it starts with the soil; with preparing the location that you will plant; with ensuring the seed will be planted in a supportive and nutritious setting.
Many people have made the analogy between “planting a seed,” and planting a thought or an idea. Further, people have made a similar analogy between growing a strong tree and growing strong children who become stronger adults. A great many people have made the mistake of thinking that simply creating a child is enough to create a strong person. Anyone who looks around and pays attention can see that there are plenty of children birthed that are never given the proper environment within which they can grow strong.
Given even a modicum of consideration it becomes obvious that preparation is required before “planting the seed,” no matter what it is that you intend to grow; or want to attempt to grow. For plants, it’s all about the location and soil, right? You need soil that will provide nutrition, the proper acidity levels and enough moisture for the plant being grown. Different plants require different levels of… well… everything. Where one plant requires next to no water, another requires plenty of water. Where highly acidic soil is good for one plant, it’ll kill another. You have to know ahead of time what it is you’re going to plant and prepare accordingly – or understand that you’re planting a seed that will most likely die once sprouted, if it sprouts at all.
But what about people? How do we “prepare the soil” when we’re talking about a child and raising that child into a strong adult? The necessary environment for a reasonably healthy child, for the first year or two of their life, is a fairly simple thing to identify. They need sufficient nutrition, warmth and cleanliness. They need an environment free of toxins – as much as possible – and, in today’s world, the vaccinations that will help prevent debilitating and sometimes lethal diseases.
After that child has reached the age of 18-24 months, they have started to form their personality, are mobile and talking. Believe it or not, their basic values are already being formed, and behaviors that they will want to either mimic or avoid are being observed by them. It’s the behaviors demonstrated by others; behaviors that either make the child feel good/happy, and therefore the child views the behavior as desirable, or it’s behaviors that make the child feel scared/sad and therefore the child views the behavior as negative, undesired, “bad.”
Continuing on through the child’s developmental years, we know that the child needs to be taught right from wrong, a sense of morals, an expanded foundation of beliefs and values that will form the personality traits and characteristics that will support the child as they either become a good adult or a not-so-good adult. In general, we’ll accept that “good” is based on morals and positive/societally beneficial behavior, while “bad” is lacking in morals or has a negative impact on those around the individual.
What we’ve identified though is that if you use the analogy of “planting the seed,” to refer to growing a child, then it’s never safe to assume that the “tree” will automatically grow strong no matter what obstacles may be experienced along the way. Instead, we see that the environment must be proper to grow the seed at all, and if there are obstacles in the way of strong growth, then the environment must be especially supportive; higher in nutrition – and when we’re talking about growing a child then we’re not just talking nutrition for physical growth, but also for emotional, mental and spiritual growth. THAT is the environment that must be prepared and maintained.
So… if you have children… what kind of gardener are you?