I know a woman who, at the grand old age of about eight years old, was taught that someone else was to blame. Blame for what? Everything. That summer she lived with some relatives and in a very short time span she gained a lot of weight. She had lived the lifestyle of those particular relatives: she ate anything she wanted, did next to no physical activity, watched a LOT of television and gained weight. She gained about ten pounds in two weeks. For an eight year old sized person, that’s a lot of weight. When she got home to her family complaining about how fat she was, her mother insisted it wasn’t her fault; it was the fault of the relatives who let her do that.
While that might be true of an eight year old because adults CAN exercise more control, that little girl never let go of that outlook: it was someone else’s fault. In her teenage years she blamed her father and her older brother for how alone she felt. She used that alone feeling to excuse all of her behaviors that, well, included some not so great decisions about what she should or shouldn’t do. Her father did his best to offer guidance and put some discipline in her life and she made his life hell as a result. She still blamed him for all the discipline he didn’t give her though.
She was the youngest child in the family and therefore the last one left at home …
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